8/18/2016
I have learned that during this time of teaching Ella to learn and be in this world (but not of it), that a trial and error period is involved. We are learning how to be parents, she is learning just about everything 🙂 She does not as of yet, understand many words and so the mis-communication/ mis-understandings seem to be the most frustrating part for all of it. I have to say one way of communication for us that really does work is sign language! We have taught her the basics for sign language (water, bed/sleep, drink, hungry/food, and she pats her diaper if she went to the bathroom) This has helped us to find our own means of communication and understand each other even without words.
We have also learned to communicate through our eyes. What we are thinking and feeling is conveyed through our eyes and she looks to them for comfort, for understanding and to learn if what she is doing she should do or not. Our eyes can relay a whole message in a single glance. How we respond verbally and through touch, is also important, but secondary to what we see and think. If we see her as capable and think only lovingly and through patience, the words and the way to express it is natural.
Communication is KEY. Communicating through words, looks and sign all convey to her that we trust her and love her. She then has a choice and is empowered, even though she is still a wee-little toddler. This helps her to have the power while we still hold the end of the rope. She is empowered to learn and listen, and trust she can do that, even now. This communication has contributed immensely to our experience as peaceful parents.
When I get down to Ella’s level and speak to her like she understands me, with all the patience, love and simplicity I can give, she hears me. You can see it. The click happens, the release happens inside her mind to let her self settle down and join me in the peace, where everything is all okay.
When we take on this role of parents, we are learning how to be parents. There is no manual, there is no specific “way” to follow. Each child is different and has different needs. I feel a key part in being the best parents we can be, is taking ourselves off the hook for the mistakes we might make. Be patient not only with our kids, but in our own learning process. When we are gentle and kind towards us, we can find the rest and the relaxation needed to fully come back to who we we are, take a breath, and give only loving actions, thoughts, and guidance. We don’t mean to respond in anger or frustration or any other emotion, and if we do, we are forgiven for it. We can try again, applying a new idea, a new way the next time.
Our children help to bring up the unhealed parts of ourselves up, so that we can heal it all. We are here to be the courageous parents they need us to be; and the most courageous thing we can do, is look into our own hearts and minds for improvement, forgiveness and growth. We are not trying to be the best of the best parents or providers, we are to be better and more kinder and peaceful then we were yesterday. There is no competition in this process, there is only loving and learning and laughing at mistakes instead of condemning ourselves for them. There is another way and this way can be learned. Grateful that it is so. #PeacefulParenting #ConsciousParenting #CommunicationISKey #Loveistheway