Today, we’re diving into a heartfelt question from two of our beloved friends, Barb and Simon.
They’re part of our Workbook support group, where we’ve been exploring the theme of acceptance.
They are practicing not just accepting people as they are in this moment, but as the eternal soul that they are.
🎧Click here to hear the audio version.
Here is what they asked:
QUESTION:
“Can I accept someone fully while still having healthy boundaries?
And how can I keep from being dragged down by the unconscious patterns of others while staying in my peace?”
This is a conversation about love, discernment, and staying rooted in Spirit—no matter what.
Thanks again Barb and Simon for the question. Let’s dive in!
Can I Accept Someone and Still Have Boundaries?
MY ANSWER:
The simple answer is: yes.
True acceptance, through the lens of A Course in Miracles, means seeing past the illusions to the truth of who your brother is: the holy, innocent child of God.
Acceptance does not mean tolerating ego behavior or staying in situations that compromise your peace or safety.
The Course reminds us that what we see in behavior, words, or patterns is part of the dream.
To truly accept someone is to look past the dream—to recognize the Christ within them.
But seeing the Christ doesn’t mean ignoring harm. Jesus says we are to do what a brother asks if it causes no harm to anyone.
And harm—whether mental, emotional, physical, or spiritual—is not love, and therefore not of God.
In those moments, something must shift.
It might mean setting a boundary.
It might mean speaking a loving but firm truth.
Or it might mean simply walking away—toward peace, and toward where welcome is.
We’re not here to change other people’s minds or behavior.
What needs to change is our own mind—to shift from fear to love.
I often come back to a quote by Martin Luther King Jr.:
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
Even when someone is acting out of pain or hate, our task is to remain aligned with the light.
Why?
Because if someone is projecting pain, it’s because they are in pain.
They’re calling for help—even if they don’t know it.
So How Do I Respond To That Call For Love?
With love.
When we respond with love, we’ll be guided.
Sometimes that guidance will say: walk away.
Sometimes it will say: set the boundary.
Sometimes it will give us words of healing we didn’t even know we had.
But when we lead with love—not fear—our actions will be aligned with truth.
Boundaries, in that light, become acts of love.
Not walls. Not punishments. But structures that protect our peace and help us see clearly.
Jesus tells us to be vigilant only for God and His Kingdom.
Vigilance means staying rooted in loving thoughts.
And boundaries can help us do that.
A boundary is not a wall of separation—it’s a container for right-mindedness.
When someone’s behavior triggers fear or judgment in you, pause and ask:
Holy Spirit, what is the most loving thing here? What would You have me do? What would You have me see? What would You have me offer?
The answer will come—with peace and clarity.
Sometimes, the most loving thing is saying no to an ego behavior, while saying yes to the soul behind it.
When we remember that someone’s ego is not who they are, we can stop confusing their actions with their essence.
Their ego is just a survival system—one they learned long ago.
But who they are is eternal and untouched.
Is It Possible For Me To Stay Grounded When Others Aren’t?
The next question is:
How can I keep from being dragged down by others’ unconscious patterns?
This is about emotional and energetic entanglement.
The Course teaches that no one can drag us down—but we can choose to join them in ego thinking. That’s what creates heaviness.
Lesson 5 says:
“I am never upset for the reason I think.”
When someone is acting from fear or unconsciousness, it’s tempting to get caught up in their story—forgetting that fear is not real, because it is not of God.
Our job is not to fix their fear. It’s to stay anchored in truth.
To remain aware that beneath the upset—whether theirs or ours—there’s always a deeper call for healing.
When we buy into stories of fear, guilt, and attack, we lose clarity.
But when we stay grounded in love, we invite others to rise into healing with us—without force.
“The mind can be right or wrong depending on what voice it listens to.” – ACIM
What Happens When I Refuse to Join the Their Story?
Here’s an example:
I once spoke to someone who felt rejected by her friend.
She believed she was being abandoned.
But as we talked, it became clear this was an old childhood wound.
Every small misunderstanding triggered her deep fear of abandonment.
If I had joined her story and seen her as a victim, I would’ve reinforced her pain.
But instead, I gently held to the truth: she is not a victim.
She is whole. She is loved.
Over time, she saw the pattern and healed that fear—and the relationship transformed.
Later, she thanked me for not joining her story.
She thanked me for seeing her innocence and reminding her of her strength.
What Do I Say When I Don’t Know What to Say?
Real help doesn’t come from joining someone’s illusions. Real help is holding space for their truth.
So when you feel the pull of fear or don’t know what to say, pause.
Silently pray:
“Holy Spirit, help me to see this differently. Help me remember who they are—and who I am.”
That simple prayer lifts us above the ego battlefield.
It restores our vision and helps us hold peace, even when someone else is in distress.
Sometimes the most loving thing is stepping back. Or not engaging in the drama.
And just to be clear: refusing to engage in drama is not rejection.
It’s a form of remembrance—you’re remembering the truth for them when they’ve forgotten it.
They may even thank you for it later.
Can My Love Set The Strongest Boundary?
Yes, you can fully accept someone’s soul and still have boundaries.
Acceptance isn’t tolerating harm.
It’s remembering the truth about them, even when they forget it.
The Course says:
“In this world, the only remaining freedom is the freedom of choice—always between two choices, or two voices.”
So let’s remember:
In every moment, we get to choose.
Between love and fear. Between the voice of God or the voice of ego.
Boundaries, when rooted in love, help us stay in our right mind—and help us see the light in our brother, not just their pain.
If someone’s ego patterns feel like they’re dragging you down, don’t join them in that fear.
Choose again. Choose to see with love.
Your greatest gift to them is your unwavering vision of their truth—even in the midst of their suffering or mistakes.
Want to Go Deeper Into the Workbook—and Actually Live It?
I’ve officially opened the doors to the A Course in Miracles Workbook Support Group for 2026.
This is an 18-month journey through the Workbook.
Barb and Simon are on this journey with me right now, along with 50 other students.
Together, we take our time.
We don’t just read the lessons—we apply them, live them, and allow them to transform our lives.
We’re witnessing miracles, deep healing, and real shifts in mind, body, and relationships.
The goal of the Workbook is to lead us into joy, peace, and purpose—and we do that in a safe, loving, nonjudgmental space.
So if your heart feels pulled, I invite you to join the waitlist.
Even if you’re just considering it for the future, spots are filling up quickly, so I recommend you sign up now.
📖 Order A Course In Miracles Here
Wishing you a beautiful, blessed weekend and week ahead.
May peace and love guide you on your journey. 💖
If this message resonated with you, feel free to share it with others.
Much love to you, Beautiful Soul. ✌️
Britney
>>> If you find this topic interesting, click here, to watch this YouTube video I posted!
P.S. ASK ME ANYTHING: If you have any questions or need clarity about A Course In Miracles, I’m here to help! Simply submit your question through this form.