Today, we’re answering a heartfelt question from a student of A Course in Miracles named Pete.
🎧Click here to hear the audio version.
Here is what he asked:
QUESTION:
“I was listening to Ram Dass today, and he said his guru taught him to love everybody—but to also be honest with them.
How can I set boundaries with people and still love them, especially with my partner and my sister, where I often have conflict?
I love them both, but they cross boundaries, and I feel I allow it by trying to have empathy for their suffering.”
Thank you, Pete, for your honesty and courage in asking this question.
Relationships are often our greatest classrooms—especially the ones that challenge us.
They give us the perfect conditions to learn how to keep and extend peace, even when it feels difficult.
Can I Be Honest And Still Be Loving?
MY ANSWER:
The more I reflected on Pete’s question, the more I wanted to start with a story.
So, this is the story of a woman named Clara:
Clara reached out to me about difficulties with her sister.
Her sister would call almost every day to vent—long rants filled with judgment, frustration, and blame.
Clara, trying to be supportive, would listen patiently. She thought this was love. But afterwards, she felt drained—heavy and disconnected from her own peace.
One day, after a particularly intense call, Clara got honest with herself.
She realized: “Wait. This doesn’t feel loving. This feels like enablement.”
So Clara took her question into prayer. She asked Jesus and the Holy Spirit for guidance.
And what she heard was simple but life-changing:
“You can be kind without being a container for projections.”
A lightbulb went on. She knew something different had to happen. The next time her sister called, Clara found the courage to speak honestly.
Even though her voice shook, she said:
“I love you and want to support you. But when our calls turn into long venting sessions, I end up feeling heavy and depleted. I’m no longer available to receive blame or upset. If you want to talk through something and find clarity together, I’m here for that.”
At first, her sister was unsure how to respond. But over time, something shifted.
Clara had refused to join her sister’s illusion—and instead offered her a path toward healing. She didn’t shut her out; she redirected the relationship toward truth and peace.
Eventually, their connection deepened.
Their conversations became co-creative, centered in healing and love.
Are Boundaries A Way To Protect My Peace Or Push Others Away?
This is why Clara’s boundary was loving: it wasn’t against her sister—it was for peace.
We don’t create boundaries to build walls. We create them to keep our hearts open.
Boundaries protect the peace within us—not by excluding others, but by helping us stay present with them in truth.
It’s not loving to allow:
- attack
- abuse
- manipulation
- constant dumping
But it’s also not loving to bypass our own feelings and call it “spiritual.”
Empathy without honesty becomes enablement.
Honesty without empathy becomes cruelty.
We need both honesty and empathy.
What Does A Course in Miracles Teach About Setting Loving Boundaries?
Let’s explore 3 ways on how to stay grounded in the teachings of A Course in Miracles while setting healthy boundaries.
1. What Are Boundaries Really For?
Boundaries are not separation—they’re communication.
They say:
“I love you, and I love myself enough not to abandon peace.”
Love creates transparent bridges—bridges that allow peace to flow both ways. Fear creates defensive walls.
Your “no” on the surface can actually be a deep “yes” to peace, sanity, and love for both of you.
2. Can Being Honest Actually Strengthen My Peace?
Honesty is not just speaking your truth; it’s living in harmony with Truth itself.
When we’re honest, we stop pretending things don’t hurt when they do. We stop spiritualizing dysfunction.
Honesty is the beginning of healing.
Being honest is not unloving—it’s how we keep love clean.
When you say:
“I love you, but I’m noticing I feel overwhelmed when our conversations get heavy,”
you’re not attacking. You’re opening space for real connection.
In A Course in Miracles, honesty means consistency—no contradiction between what you think, say, and do.
When your inner world aligns with peace, your boundaries come from clarity, not control.
3. What Does Protecting My Peace Look Like in Practice?
There’s no one-size-fits-all method, but here are a few examples of loving boundaries:
- Leaving the room when someone yells.
- Staying silent instead of yelling back.
- Saying, “I don’t want to continue this conversation right now if blame is present.”
- Spending less time with someone who consistently disrupts your peace.
- Choosing silence as a prayer until you can speak from love.
Whenever guilt or fear arises, hand it over to the Holy Spirit and pray:
“Help me set boundaries from love, not fear. Help me remember who I am and do what’s right for all of us.”
How Can I Love Someone Without Losing My Peace?
We are not asked to condone harmful behavior.
We are asked to see the face of Christ behind the ego’s mask. We can say “no” to harmful actions while still saying “yes” to the divine essence in another.
When someone lashes out, they’re in pain. That doesn’t excuse it—but it explains it.
Forgiveness, as the Course teaches,
“Seeing with gentle eyes that overlook error and turn the mind to Truth.”
So love them enough not to join their illusion.
Refuse to attack back. See their suffering but don’t enable it. Speak truth calmly and clearly.
Remember: every upset is a call for love.
What If Protecting My Peace Upsets Someone Else?
Sometimes people won’t like it when you stop being their emotional dumping ground.
They might push back or try to guilt you. But deep down, they want peace too.
Their soul agrees with you—it’s just their ego that resists.
When you set boundaries from love, you invite them into healing. They may not understand at first, but over time, they will recognize the gift you’ve offered.
Just like Clara’s sister eventually did.
How Do I Stay Anchored in Love When Things Feel Hard?
Through it all, our only responsibility is to stay anchored in love.
We’re not responsible for others’ reactions—only for the integrity of our own presence. Before you enter any challenging situation, pause.
Remember who you are, and who they are.
As you see them, you will see yourself. As you love them, you will love yourself.
Let love lead the way. Ask the Holy Spirit to use every encounter for healing.
And even if you need to walk away, do so as a blessing—not as a weapon.
Where Can I Go To Keep Strengthening My Peace?
Thank you, my friends, for being here today—and thank you, Pete, for your beautiful question.
If you’d like to join our community, you can come to the Textbook Study Group or sign up for the Workbook Support Group Waitlist below.
Every Tuesday at 1 PM Eastern, we gather for our Textbook Study Group.
We begin by sharing our miracles, questions, healing struggles, and wins.
At 1:30 PM, we dive into the Textbook of A Course in Miracles, walking hand in hand—with each other, and with Jesus by our side.
It’s free to join. Donations are welcome, but never required. Simply come as you are.
If you are more interested in the Workbook, you can also sign up for the Workbook Support Group Waitlist—an 18-month journey beginning in 2026.
It’s a powerful way to receive support and guidance as you go through every workbook lesson—not just reading them, but living them, applying them, and letting them transform your mind and life.
I look forward to continuing our journey together—awakening in peace, love, and purpose.
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Wishing you a beautiful, blessed weekend and week ahead.
May peace and love guide you on your journey. 💖
If this message resonated with you, feel free to share it with others.
Much love to you, Beautiful Soul. ✌️
Britney
>>> If you find this topic interesting, click here, to watch this YouTube video I posted!
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