Today’s question comes from Terry, one of the group members in my Workbook Support Group.
This week we went deep into the idea of forgiveness— specifically, Lesson 108: To give and to receive are one in truth.
In this lesson, we’re shown that if we want to be forgiven, we must give forgiveness.
But that can be confusing, especially for students who’ve learned that we only forgive our own thoughts—not others.
🎧Click here to hear the audio version.
Here is what he asked:
QUESTION:
“I’m a little confused about what you’re saying about forgiveness.
I’ve believed that forgiveness means bringing my projection back to myself and giving it to the Holy Spirit.
I wasn’t sure what you meant about forgiving the other person. What does that mean—and how would I do it?”
Thank you, Terry. This is a powerful and important question.
So many Course students—and even teachers—struggle with it. But forgiveness is the core of A Course in Miracles.
So understanding what it means and how it works is essential.
What Are the Steps to Forgive in A Course in Miracles?
MY ANSWER:
In class, we explored this principle: if we want to know we’ve been forgiven, we must give forgiveness.
If we withhold forgiveness from even one person, we can’t fully experience that we ourselves are forgiven—because I and my brother are one.
As I see my brother, I see myself.
As I love my brother, I love myself.
As I forgive my brother, I forgive myself.
This is God’s law: Give as you want to receive.
And it’s why the Course says all forgiveness is self-forgiveness.
When we extend forgiveness to someone else—no matter how difficult—we free ourselves from the illusion of separation.
That’s how healing happens.
What Happens When I Try to Forgive the Unforgivable?
One of our students, Stacy, shared honestly how hard it was for her to forgive rapists and murderers.
But she also knew that real healing required including everyone in the love of God—without exception.
Even though she didn’t know how—and even admitted she didn’t want to—she became willing.
Week by week, her willingness grew.
Eventually, she had a moment of release. She realized these people didn’t know what they were doing.
They were likely abused, trapped in ego, projecting pain.
They didn’t need condemnation—they needed help and love.
In that moment, she forgave. She gave love.
And instantly, she received that love back.
Her hatred and judgment were gone.
She was free.
Why Is It My Trigger And Not the Other Persons Fault?
Stacy’s story shows us: when we forgive others, we’re really forgiving ourselves.
We’re healing the part of our mind that made them wrong.
The one who triggers you?
The person you avoid or resent?
They’re not the problem. The trigger is.
But their behavior helped reveal that trigger—so you can now forgive.
And when you do, your judgment, pain, and resistance are replaced by peace, compassion, and empathy.
That’s the miracle.
How Forgiveness Invites Miracles and Healing
Jesus says atonement is a lesson in sharing.
- As we share love, we receive it.
- As we forgive, we are forgiven.
- If we withhold forgiveness from one person, we withhold it from ourselves.
So when someone triggers you or brings up fear—don’t avoid it. Use it.
It’s a holy opportunity.
Is Forgiveness Only an Inner Process?
Terry said:
“I believe that forgiveness is bringing my projection back to myself and giving it to the Holy Spirit.”
Yes—this is true.
But we must also extend that forgiveness outward to others.
Why? Because we’re not separate.
And we cannot receive what we don’t give.
What Can St. Francis Teach Me About Giving and Receiving?
This reminds me of the second half of St. Francis’s prayer:
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive…
If you want more love, more understanding, more peace—give them.
Forgive others, so that you can remember the truth:
My brother is myself.
A Simple Forgiveness Practice from A Course in Miracles
Lesson 78 gives us a clear process:
- Bring the person to mind.
Especially the one who upsets you, irritates you, or feels unforgivable. - Let yourself feel the resentment or grievance.
Be honest about what’s there. - Pray:
“Holy Spirit, help me see this person differently.” - Be still.
Listen. Observe. Allow any images or thoughts to come forward. - Write them down.
Notice what shifts. That’s your healing unfolding.
You can also make a list of names—anyone you still resent or struggle to forgive.
Write out what hurt you. Then ask for help seeing them through Spirit’s eyes.
Why Is Their Healing Also My Healing?
We forgive others because they are ourselves.
Their freedom is our freedom.
Their innocence is our own.
Today, maybe you’ll choose radical, liberating forgiveness.
“My brother is just as worthy of forgiveness as I am. So I’ll offer it freely—so I can know I’m forgiven too.”
Where Can I Study the Course in a Loving, Supportive Place?
Thank you, Terry, for this powerful question.
And thank you, dear reader, for staying with me until the end.
If this helped you, let me know what part stood out.
And if you want me to go deeper into a certain topic, feel free to reply and ask.
Also, don’t forget to join our Tuesday Study Group.
I host a free weekly A Course in Miracles Textbook study group every Tuesday at 1:00 PM Eastern.
At 1:00, we gather to share miracles, healing wins, and struggles. At 1:30, we begin reading and studying the day’s section together.
Donations are welcome, but never required. Come as you are. Recordings always available.
I look forward to walking through A Course in Miracles beside you.
Wishing you a beautiful, blessed weekend and week ahead.
May peace and love guide you on your journey. 💖
If this message resonated with you, feel free to share it with others.
Much love to you, Beautiful Soul. ✌️
Britney
>>> If you find this topic interesting, click here, to watch this YouTube video I posted!
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