Today, we’re exploring a powerful and personal question that came from Pete, who sent this in during one of our recent classes.

This is what he asked:

QUESTION:

“How can I set boundaries with people I love—like my partner or my sister—when there’s conflict? 

I love them so much, but they cross boundaries. I feel like I let it happen because I’m trying to have empathy for their suffering.”

Pete, thank you for your honesty, your heart, and your courage in asking what so many of us feel deep down.

We’re going to walk through this together, one step at a time.

(Prefer audio to reading? Click here)

How Do I Set Boundaries… And Still Love Them?

MY ANSWER:

First of all, love is not the same as tolerance for abuse.

A Course in Miracles teaches us to love no matter what — and that’s absolutely true.

We are here to demonstrate love, because love is what we are.

When we look at someone — especially someone in pain, especially someone acting from ego — we are still asked to see the Christ in them.

We are still asked to extend love, because in truth, they are calling for love underneath that conflict or pain.

But, this is what love is not:

• Extending love does not mean abandoning yourself.
• Love is not putting up with mistreatment.
• Love is not spiritual bypassing.
• Love is not saying yes to everything in the name of being nice.

That’s not love — that’s fear, dressed up in spiritual clothes.

True love and true empathy must include your goodness, your safety, your voice.

The moment your wellness is compromised, it’s no longer loving — because it doesn’t include you.

Are Boundaries a Sign of My Disconnection or Clarity?

Yes, there are boundaries in love.

But let’s reframe boundaries, because spirituality can sometimes confuse us about this.

A boundary isn’t a wall. It’s not punishment.

A boundary is clarity.

It’s saying: This is what I’m available for.

Think of a boundary like the gentle rule we give a child:

“Don’t cross the street without looking both ways.”

Why do we say that? Because we love them.

Because we want them to be safe.

So, when your sister or your partner speaks with disrespect, dumps emotional pain on you, or pushes past what you can emotionally hold, you can say — with all the love in your heart:

“I love you. But if we can’t speak to each other with kindness right now, I’m going to take a step back. I want us both to feel safe. I want this relationship to be about healing. Let’s pause, and try again later.”

That is love with a spine.

That’s empathy with structure.

That’s kindness saying: “This has gone too far — let’s reset together.”

How Do I Speak Honestly Without Causing More Harm?

When you share your truth, speak from love — not from the ego.

Be responsible. Not blaming.

Use “I” statements — not accusations.

Don’t say:

“You always do this.”
“You never listen.”

That triggers defense.

Say instead:

“I feel overwhelmed when this happens.”
“I need some space to reconnect to my peace.”
“This relationship matters to me, and I want us both to feel respected.”

You can be honest about how you feel and what you need — and you must be.

But let your honesty be in service to healing — not winning.

(Prefer audio to reading? Click here)

What Did Jesus Do When He Was Not Welcomed?

Jesus told his disciples:

“If they don’t receive you, shake the dust off your sandals… and move on.”

He didn’t say:

• Stay and fight.
• Stay and convince.
• Stay and become a martyr.

He said: Go to where you are welcomed.

Go to where the light is.

And we can do that too.

If someone can’t meet you in love right now — love them anyway.

Let them know you’re here.

And when they’re ready, they can come meet you in the love you are extending.

This doesn’t mean you’ve turned your back on them.

It means you’re holding a line for love.

You’re communicating in love.

Taking responsibility in love.

Forgiving in love.

And letting love lead — even in how you walk away.

How Can I Have Empathy Without Losing Myself?

Pete, you said that you have empathy for their suffering — and that’s beautiful.

It’s needed.

Jesus has a whole section on true empathy in the Course.

True empathy sees beneath the behavior.

But — and this is so important — you are not responsible for their suffering.

You can hold space… without absorbing it.

You can gently remind them:

“You don’t have to suffer.
There is another way.
And when you’re ready to choose peace, I’m here.”

That’s what true love does. It holds firm in truth.

It invites, but doesn’t pressure.

It demonstrates, rather than demands.

What Are My Relationship Really For?

Here’s one of the most important questions you can ask yourself:

What is this relationship for?

Is it for healing? For joy? For growth?

For coming closer to God?

When you’re clear on your purpose, your boundaries will begin to serve that purpose.

They stop being about protecting yourself from someone — and start being about protecting the sacredness of what you both share.

When you’re clear, they can get clear.

And the boundary becomes not a wall — but a beacon.

Could This Be the Beginning of a Holy Relationship?

Pete, when you find that clarity, when you share your purpose, it invites your loved ones to join you in that vision.

This is where holy relationships begin:

When we set the goal with the Holy Spirit for what we want this relationship to become.

That’s the most powerful boundary of all.

So I hope this gives you a roadmap.

And for all of you listening — I hope it helps you too.

Let’s keep loving the people we love.

Let’s remember that love is a strength — not a weakness.

And that love doesn’t mean saying yes to pain or ego.

Love says yes to truth.

It holds the line for what’s real. And it doesn’t compromise.

Let’s hold that goal of healing, of light, of Christ in every relationship.

And if you forget — and you probably will — just pause, pray, and come back to the truth.

You’re doing a beautiful job already.

And it’s only going to get better from here.

You are not alone. 💛

📘 What’s Happening with the Book?

Things are moving full speed ahead for my upcoming book:

The Birth of a Miracle: The Definitive History of A Course in Miracles, and the Teaching That Will Change Your Life.

I recently finished reviewing the entire manuscript.

The foreword is done. The details are set.

There’s just one last step — I’m listening through the audiobook to make sure it’s perfect for you.

In the meantime, if you’re interested in the true story behind A Course in Miracles 

• its origins
• its different versions
• how to understand the conflict and controversy in the community
• how we can deepen our relationship with the Holy Spirit

 — this book is for you.

If that speaks to you, I invite you to click the opt-in link below and share your email.

You’ll receive:

• Early access to the book
• An exclusive audio recording of raw, unedited stories and miracles that shaped the journey
• The full audio recording of the first chapter and preface, so you can experience how the book begins

My hope is that these divine synchronicities inspire you to say yes to God’s will… and to trust His voice inside your own mind and life.

So if that calls to you — click this link — and all of it will be sent directly to your inbox.

Wishing you a beautiful, blessed weekend and week ahead.

May peace and love guide you on your journey. 💖

If this message resonated with you, feel free to share it with others.

Much love to you, Beautiful Soul. ✌️
Britney

>>> If you find this topic interesting, click here, to watch this YouTube video I posted today!

P.S. ASK ME ANYTHING: If you have any questions or need clarity about A Course In Miracles, I’m here to help! Simply submit your question through this form.